How can i stop taking things so personally?

anything that my kids do...like misbehaving or hurting my momma's feelings, i feel that there is something i can do to make them not act like that. anything anyone says to me, i take to heart and usually look more into it. if my momma's depressed, i always think that i did something to make her that way. how can i stop thinking like that? and how can i stop being so paranoid? i always think when i walk into a room that people start talking about me. i'm in counseling, but that isn't helping at all...i'm thinking about getting a new counselor. but in the meantime, what can i do?